Robot Sex & Cyberdildonics

Is robot sex hot? Where are we headed with technology and sex? Can cyberdildonics bring people closer together? Dr. Jenn discusses this with Sean the Comedian. Her alter-ego, Spicy Suzy, hits the streets of San Diego to interview regular folk about whether cyberdildonics is cheating, dragon sex, and more.

WHAT'S THAT WORD?
Cyberdildonics or Teledildonics

SEXUAL FUN FACT
According to smartphone use, who is more likely to have sex on a first date?

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

Women are Sexual & Sluts are Great!

(I just posted this blog to Pacific San Diego Magazine's blogger series.)

Rush Limbaugh’s recent “slut-bashing” incident brought to light how we Americans perceive and experience our sexuality. If you missed this or want the full story, read about Limbaugh’s slut slandering of a female Georgetown law student, in response to her testifying before Congress about access to birth control. The incident is fraught with controversy, so for now, let’s just look at the use of the word “slut.”

Slut Walk San DiegoWhat is a “slut?” Generally, it is a derogatory word used for a woman who is considered too sexual. This begs the question, what does “too sexual” mean, and who decides how much sex is too much for an adult woman? It’s a funny world we live in, where women are highly desired for their sexuality, but criticized, by both women and men, if they want to be in control of that sexuality.

Why is there such a low threshold for acceptable sexual expression for women compared to men? I know a lot of men who like sex, and wish that women were encouraged to like it as much as them! However, there is a distinct gender difference in who is allowed to be sexual without stigma. Research shows that women often report a lower than truthful number of sexual partners. Men, on the other hand, report a higher number. Clearly, both genders have internalized what is appropriate sexual behavior.

Why does it matter if we call a girl or woman a slut? When a woman is labeled a slut, the stigma can be very real in its impact and consequences. For example, labeling a high school girl a slut has long been one of the top insults that can be hurled, and can negatively impact the girl’s reputation, enjoyment of high school, and circle of friends. This hasn’t changed in the 20 years since I was in high school, and with the recent recognition of the dangers of bullying, perhaps this is something to which we should pay more attention.

I believe there is so much controversy around “sluts” because sex is powerful and provocative. People make a lot of decisions based on their sex drive, some empowering and some pretty damn foolish (e.g., look at the fall of so many male politicians and religious leaders who can’t keep their dicks in their pants). I think sexual women have long been the scapegoats of powerful men. Our sexual decisions sometimes have big consequences, but labeling women for choosing to be sexual, when it benefits the women AND men, shouldn’t be one of those consequences.

I think a slut is a woman who seeks sexual experiences and enjoys being sexual. That doesn’t sound so bad to me. Last year, the “Slut Walk” movement in many major cities was a way to reclaim women’s sexual expression, and stop blaming sexual assault on women’s fashion choices. San Diego proudly hosted a Slut Walk in June, 2011. Perhaps a chant of “Two, Four, Six, Eight. Women are Sexual and Sluts are Great!” is something we should all take to the streets.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

150 Shows About Sex: Lessons Learned?

On March 12, 2012, I am hosting a big party to celebrate the 150th episode of In the Den with Dr. Jenn! We had our first video shoot in a tiny studio space in downtown San Diego in June 2006. Back then, I was sitting in a big red luv sac with a production staff of three men. With no teleprompter, I had notes scrawled on a white board next to the camera, and you can see my eyes darting back and forth. We had no idea what we were doing, but had a whole lot of fun doing it.
 
In reflecting on 150 shows about sex, I've learned that…

• Sex is truly a blend of contradictions: fun and serious, pleasure and pain, reverent and irreverent, healing and escape. We can get stuck on one side of the equation, but I think there’s growth in opening to its complexity.
• Maintaining a high standard of integrity around sex-positivity AND female sexual empowerment is sadly not the norm in the sex field.
• I love being part of the San Diego sex community and having the opportunity to bring so many fascinating guests on my show, as well as shooting in front of a live studio audience. Public discourse around sex is so valuable!
• Sexual energy is more powerful and sensitive than I realized. We all need to honor and respect this in women and men.
• People are excited to be a part of something bigger than themselves. I've found that creating empowering, sex positive messages is a challenging yet important cause that calls to many.
• You can never know everything about sex, but we cover a lot through Den Chats and Sexual Fun Facts.  Did you know that yoga can improve orgasms, practitioners of BDSM tend to have higher IQs, women who want to become pregnant should pay attention to their nutrition well before that point, the chakras of women and men open in opposite directions in sexual situations, masturbation is still one of our most taboo topics, and college female gymnasts may serve as masturbatory fodder for male students? These were all new to me!

Here are a few Fun Facts about the show:

• My favorite Sexual Fun Fact is from Session #26. Question: What have zookeepers in China used to assist pandas in reproduction? Answer: Panda porn! They have played videos of other pandas having sex.
• The sex terminology most repeated (to me) from an episode is “anal bleaching,” from Session #20.
• The episode with the most hits on YouTube is Anal Sex: Advice from a Gay Man to Straight Women. (Session #119). Hmm…I think there’s a lot more conversation to be had around this one!

I could go on and on, because creating this show was such an incredible experience. However, I will leave you with two other links:
Session #150: Gynecologist Speaks: How to Improve Women's Libido (with Dr. Diana Hoppe)
Session #1, where it all started!

And please join the party on Monday, March 12, if you're in the San Diego area!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

Big San Diego Party! Come celebrate 150 Episodes of In the Den with Dr. Jenn

"In the Den with Dr. Jenn" is a professionally-produced video series exploring sex, intimacy, relationships, holistic health, communication, and sensuality. Myself, along with the production team, are having a big party to celebrate all the hard work we've put into this labor of love. All are welcome!

Monday, March 12, 2012, 7pm - 11pm

Tango Del Rey Palace, 3567 Del Rey Street, San Diego, 92109

Free (food & drink available for purchase)

Lots of fun stuff happening at the party:

• Meet many of the guests from my show (experts on sexology, sex education, relationships, healthy sexuality, alternative health, media, eroticism, and more!).
• Free raffle prizes throughout the night.
• Area with lots of wearable props for fun photo opportunities.
• Episodes playing on a large screen.
• Music for dancing AND a salsa performance.
• "Dr. Jenn's Den" drink specials.

Parking: There is a small parking lot, a garage, and street parking - all free parking.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

Top 5: San Diego Spots for Outdoor Sex

I am the new Sex & Love Blogger for Pacific San Diego Magazine. Please comment on my first post about enjoying some outdoor friskiness in San Diego!

We are very lucky. San Diego is a warm city, with so many stunning outdoor locations. For the sexually adventurous, this means opportunities for romantic outdoor sex. Below, I offer my top 5 San Diego locales for frisky encounters. Please feel free to comment on your favorite locations!

5. Black’s Beach. This may seem like an obvious choice, since Black’s Beach is our local nude beach, but it also has exquisite beauty with red bluffs, crashing waves, and romantic seclusion. There are some unique considerations for this area, including hang gliders above, sketchy male voyeurs, and naked volleyball players (which sounds way better than it looks). Nonetheless, Black’s Beach is a hidden gem.

4. Balboa Park. Between the architecture and horticulture, Balboa Park is a buffet to the senses. I recommend any location where you can tuck away for some privacy but still be visually and audibly stimulated through nature or relaxing fountains. If you are there when it’s crowded, as a courtesy to others, look for one of the more secluded wooded areas.

3. Bird Rock. I hope this one surprises you, since we don’t hear a lot about this location. While this is the name of a neighborhood in La Jolla, there is also an actual “bird rock” – a rock situated in the ocean just beyond the beach, where birds like to hang out. I think having sex on a rock in the ocean is just cool. But be warned: you will probably have to stand, there’s ample bird crap, and the little crabs might nibble at your bare behind.

2. Coronado Beach. The white beaches of Coronado are beautiful, day and night. I suggest finding a private spot on the beach at nighttime, with the lights of the Hotel Del dancing in the distance. This iconic San Diego landmark adds an element of Hollywood romance to your sandy rendez-vous.

1. Sunset Cliffs in Pt. Loma.Sunset Cliffs is a sensual wonderland, from the deep blue ocean, waves crashing against the cliffs, salty sea air, navigation of the rocks, to the surprise picnic you pack. I think this setting is also better at nighttime, but be careful traversing the cliffs. So take your time, soaking in the natural energy along with your partner’s passion.

There are some obvious logistical concerns with outdoor sex. If you will be lying down, a soft, thick blanket is necessary cushioning, plus a second blanket for privacy. Standing is a good quickie option, but think about accessible clothing. And, if you are going to partake in such activities, please use caution to not frighten small children or get arrested. Nobody needs in flagrante delicto legal charges. Happy exploring!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

GiRL FeST San Diego Official Launch Party

GiRL FeSt has been holding educational anti-violence festivals in Hawaii since 2003, and now San Diego is lauching its own GiRL FeST movement. Through art, music, education, and community-building, this nonprofit is focused on changing peer culture. They create safe spaces to teach girls and young women about the power inside them, so they never have to be in disempowering situations.

I had tea with San Diego founder, Nikole Ryan, this past Friday, and was inspired by the big picture approach of this organization. I am pleased to be one of the speakers at this Friday's official launch party, amidst other speakers, comedians, musicians, spoken word performers, and artists. My topic is "3 Keys to Building Healthy Intimacy." If you want to learn more, celebrate the launch, or just be surrounded by movers and shakers, come out for the kick-off event!

Friday, January 13, 7pm start time - FREE

Artlab Studios: 3536 Adams Ave, San Diego, CA 92216

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapy, Marriage Counseling, College Sexual Health Speaker