Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, sociologist and sexologist, writes her sex advice and gender commentary blog. The sex blog includes relationship advice, free sex education videos, sex tips, sex-positive mindfulness, and podcast interviews.
This episode of "In the Den With Dr. Jenn" discusses whether men can breastfeed, with Jane giving her research findings.
SPECIAL GUEST
Jane, Den Clinical Researcher
DEN RECOMMEND
"Getting the Sex You Want" by Tammy Nelson
Dr. Jenn chats with Liv Kellgren and Madam Chi, the Feng Shui Dominatrix, about the impact of a man's domicile to a woman's perception of him. Demons be gone!
SPECIAL GUEST:
Liv Kellgren aka "Madame Chi"
Feng Shui Dominatrix
DEAR DR. JENN
This episode also includes a segment of "Dear Dr. Jenn" where she answers viewer's emails and questions.
The male version of The Vagina Monologues. So, it's about penises? No, actually, in my opinion it is a play that is way more creative and socially conscious. As their website explains, it's "a love letter to women, a healing for men, and a call to end violence in all its forms."
A couple weeks ago, Diversionary Theater in San Diego hosted several performances of Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues, as well as the much newer MENding Monologues. My friend and co-creator Chef Jenn treated me to the MENding Monologues as a birthday present and as an experience to add to our repetoire of knowledge for our Cooking Up Seduction enterprise. We sat in the front row. We weren't going to miss a thing.
The opening scene sent chills down my arms. Fifteen women sat on stage. Women? I recognized them as the cast for The Vagina Monologues. One by one the men of the show walked out from different sides of the stage, and while making a powerful statement, took a standing position behind each woman. "You think I'm the guy who slips roofies into your drink." I wish I could remember more of the exact phrases uttered as they brought to glaring awareness the number of negative predatorial assumptions we can make about men. Once the men were all in place, each woman stood, inviting the man to take her seat, speaking about the need for us to work together to address these topics that impact us all: respect, abuse, violence, communication, gender roles, and empowerment.
Already I was moved by the risk they were taking to tackle these topics.
Similar to The Vagina Monologues, this play is a mix of individual monologues and group pieces, ranging from hysterically poignant, to creative and thought-provoking, to moving and deeply disturbing. A man discussing the impotence he feels when witnessing a neighbor's abuse and being powerless to stop it. Gay men discussing how they don't love vagina, but that they can get behind loving the concept of symbolism of "vagina." A labiaplasty doctor explaining how women surgically alter their vulvas. A boy's despair when a trusted family priest inappropriately touched him. A young soldier returning home to his family and questioning who are the real heroes. Learning tantric practices. Appreciating women. Witnessing birth. Male hair removal. This play offered an array of insightful perspectives on masculinity and femininity, what we do with them, and how we live with it.
I was impressed. As a sociologist specializing in gender and sexuality, I am particularly critical of social commentary on such topics. But the nuances and depth of the MENding Monologues allowed the audience to be entertained, moved, and challenged. I don't want to reveal too many of the specifics of the pieces because I hope you will have the chance to see the show, view the DVD, or purchase the script and have your own experience of the material.
We do have a lot of mending to do as individuals, communities, and a society. This play's power is in avoiding the simple band-aid approach to fixing social problems and gender relations. They offer a paradigm shift to a vision of true appreciation, healing, and unity.
Learn more about the play and creators at their MENding monologues website.
Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego
The February 2010 issue of Vision Magazine has the theme of "Sexual Politics." I was thrilled to write an article for them about pornography, a topic ripe for discussions of sexual and gender politics. Below is the beginning of the article; click on the link to read the entire article.
A recent Canadian study measuring the impact of pornography on 20-something-year-old men was unexpectedly cancelled. The reason? Researchers were unable to find a control group of men in their 20s who had not consumed pornography. I think that many men would chuckle after hearing this. And I think that many women could be dismayed—especially the women who are dating those 20-something-year-old men. Pornography is a loaded topic, evoking both titillation and deep discomfort. However, the typical knee-jerk reactions do little to help us understand the complexity of this prevalent yet taboo topic.
Pornography touches on many people’s deepest fears and desires—namely sex, pleasure, power, gender relations, idealized beauty, trust, guilt, and self-worth. For this reason, a better understanding of its personal impact is advantageous. The term pornography in this article refers to visual depictions of sexual behavior intended to arouse the viewer through the Internet, DVDs, and cable shows. This article focuses on gender differences, and the potential harms and benefits of pornography consumption.
It is not surprising to learn that males are much more likely to enjoy and consume pornography than females. While there is “feminist” pornography, directed by women and featuring more plot, romance, and foreplay, mainstream pornography is primarily created by and for men. Men tend to enjoy visual stimulation more, and seek out sexual novelty.
I asked a 39-year-old single male to explain the appeal of daily viewing of porn online. “I find it titillating—I use it for masturbatory fodder,” he openly responded. “It’s lazier mentally because it’s easier; it’s right there. I don’t have to conjure up an image. Looking at porn moves the process along more rapidly.”
Click HERE for entire article.
Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego
Last week I presented an Intimacy & Erotic Play workshop as the final presentation of my Women & Intimacy Series at Tango Wine Company. We had a nice size crowd of 18 participants...and this time they weren't all women. There were two men in attendance, both husbands, and both older than the majority of the women who were in their 20s and 30s. I appreciated having this valuable and different perspective in one of my interactive workshops!
One of the gentleman mentioned afterwards how much he appreciated being able to witness the candid perspectives of so many women. I've been thinking about this since he mentioned it, and thinking about how rare it is to be privy to honest (yet facilitated and educational) perspectives from the other gender. Usually we hear bitching and stereotyping.
If this interests you, you could form your own version of this. For example, ask a few men who are willing to be honest, respectful, and deep, to form a panel to answer predetermined questions about dating, relationships, sex, and women (such as, What is the most frustrating aspect of dating women? or What is the most amazing thing about being with a woman?). Then gather your women friends to sit quietly to listen and learn.
Dr. Jenn talks with Brandy Dunn Psy.D. about male sexual dysfunction and low sexual desire in women and how they could be connected.
SPECIAL GUEST:
Brandy Dunn Psy.D., Psychologist
THE DEN RECOMMEND:
The Mastery of Love, by Don Miguel Ruiz
Dr. Jenn is a sociologist and relationship & sexuality speaker who challenges our cultural beliefs around sex, sexual consent, gender roles, and health intimacy, with a mindfulness and compassionate approach. Her site includes a sex blog, free sex education videos, sexuality speaking information, and mindfulness resources.
