150th Episode! Gynecologist Speaks - How to Improve Women's Libido

Amidst celebratory champagne toasts, Dr. Jenn interviews Dr. Diana Hoppe, San Diego gynecologist and expert on women's sex drive. What struggles do some women face and what can they do about it? Are there "normal" changes women go through?

SEXUAL FUN FACT
Question: When it comes to crocodiles, whether a baby ends up male or female, depends on what factor?

SPECIAL DEN SEX-TION
Sex Position of the Day -- What is "The Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" Position? (reason to sing!)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

Big San Diego Party! Come celebrate 150 Episodes of In the Den with Dr. Jenn

"In the Den with Dr. Jenn" is a professionally-produced video series exploring sex, intimacy, relationships, holistic health, communication, and sensuality. Myself, along with the production team, are having a big party to celebrate all the hard work we've put into this labor of love. All are welcome!

Monday, March 12, 2012, 7pm - 11pm

Tango Del Rey Palace, 3567 Del Rey Street, San Diego, 92109

Free (food & drink available for purchase)

Lots of fun stuff happening at the party:

• Meet many of the guests from my show (experts on sexology, sex education, relationships, healthy sexuality, alternative health, media, eroticism, and more!).
• Free raffle prizes throughout the night.
• Area with lots of wearable props for fun photo opportunities.
• Episodes playing on a large screen.
• Music for dancing AND a salsa performance.
• "Dr. Jenn's Den" drink specials.

Parking: There is a small parking lot, a garage, and street parking - all free parking.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, College Sexual Health Speaker

Part 1/3: 3 Keys to Building Healthy Relationships (Especially for Young Women)

I had 20 minutes to speak on this topic recently at the Girl Fest San Diego launch event. Twenty minutes can hardly do justice to the complicated topic of building healthy relationships. So I focused on three factors that are key to my counseling work, especially for young women. And I offered immediately applicable tips so hopefully the audience would go home ready to apply some new, simple practices.

Key 1: Cultivating mindfulness

I write about and speak on mindfulness A LOT. It's at the core of my work. Mindfulness is awareness in the present moment. Sounds easy? The concept is simple, but the practice is complicated, because we often have a lot of mind chatter distracting us. Beyond awareness and observation, practicing mindfulness also means not judging what you observe.

There are so many ways this is important in building healthy relationships. Mindfulness allows us to know ourselves more deeply and consciously. This means we can be more responsible with our emotions, and authentic with ourselves and our partners, not hiding behind facades. This type of presense makes sexual encounters more meaningful in that mind chatter, distractions, and judments don't get in the way of sensual pleasure and connection. Mindfulness is also an amazing gift in a relationship; truly being present with someone, listening and being engaged, not thinking about what you want to say next, is deeply validating.

One of the simplest ways to practice this is when you're driving every day. While stopped at a red light, use it as a opportunity to slow down and practice mindfulness. Take several deep breaths, roll your window down and breath in the fresh air, notice the colors around you, and appreciate the red light as a gift. Another exercise I love is "making love to an orange." Take an orange, slowly peel it, and eat it over the span of 20 minutes. Move slowly, using all 5 senses, to explore each little juice pocket bursting with citrus-y goodness.  Mindfulness is a skill that requires daily exercise to develop. However, these practices don't have to take up a lot of your time, but it is important to make it part of your daily commitment.

(Part 2 and 3 will be posted this week!)

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego, CA -- Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, Sexologist, & College Sexual Health Speaker

Sexualizing Girls? Toddlers & Tiaras

I just read an article that really irritated me. Enough for me to say, "That's bullshit," out loud. It was titled "Toddlers and Tiaras' and Sexualizing 3-year-olds" and described TLC's show about beauty pageants for young girls. Frankly it disgusted me.

The socially conservative folks in our country would have us believing that there are threats to "our children" at every turn. And yet the blatant sexualization of young girls in beauty pageants is supported by many parents. Yes, they are too young to understand the sexual humor and innuendo. No, they are not too young to learn that their value and worth apparently comes from looking sexy, being attractive, and flaunting their bodies. I'd like to check back with these parents when their girls are teens, and see where they stand then.

I think that as girls, what we are taught brings attention and worth from a young age, forms a strong foundation for self-worth and self-esteem in life. Learning to base self-worth on appearance and sex appeal is a slippery slope, from teenage girls who are getting physical attention without the emotional maturity to handle it, or adult women whose bodies are continually aging and changing, and therefore betraying them. That's a sure recipe for body hatred, which has a significant impact on self-esteem, self-expression, respect of one's body, and sexual satisfaction.

I can't wrap my brain around the motivation of parents with beauty pageant girls. Attention? Fame? Value? Self-importance?  Yes, these are things we all strive for, to make us feel whole and worthy. But, please don't use your little girls to battle your personal demons. And that goes for you too, TLC.

If you'd like to read the article that incited this rant, visit CNN's "Toddlers & Tiaras' and Sexualizing 3-Year-Olds."

(Regarding the photo, the article states: "A placard opposes a child beauty pageant organized by the U.S. "Toddlers and Tiaras" in Melbourne, Australia, on July 30.")

Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus

San Diego - Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor, University Sexuality Speaker

Love, Sex, & Mindfulness - Radio Interview

What's possible when we get mindful about sex and love? Naked Talk Radio host Elaine McMillian, in Denver, CO, interviewed me this summer about how powerful the practice of mindfulness can be in the bedroom.

Link to Naked Talk Radio show - My interview starts at 19 minutes into the show.

"When it comes to love, sex and relationships, how mindful are YOU? Is mindfulness one of those things you keep forgetting to do? Ah, that IS the rub, isn’t it. Stop meaning to be mindful and learn to make this simple skill one of your best relationship assets! In this episode, sociologist and relationship & intimacy expert, Dr. Jennifer Gunsaullus will show us how!"

New Meetup.com Group - Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego!

If you're living in San Diego, check out the new Meetup.com group I just started to promote healthy sexuality, happy relationships, and open discussions around intimacy.
Click here:
Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Sex Therapy & Relationship Counseling in San Diego