Advice for couples during coronavirus social distancing. (Photo by Eric Froehling on Unsplash.)

Every day, for the past two weeks, I’ve called into the San Diego radio station KGB101.5 to talk to my friend Clint August, the on-air radio host. Each day I share a well-being tip especially for folks who are spending a lot more time at home with their partners or with roommates. Because of the stress and ongoing changes, relationships might be struggling right now.

You can read the 1st 5 Daily Well-Being Tips here.

And these are the next 5 that I shared on air (5:40pm PT each weekday) with Clint:

1. Have a dance party tonight! Pick a few songs you love and if you’re with others, let everyone choose a song that they love. Then dance, shake, move, march, square-dance, shake your booty – just let loose and feel and enjoy the music and movement and laughter! My sister and I have been doing our own 80s music HIIT (high-intensity interval training) class together three times a week the past two weeks. Each class ends with an 80s song that one of us chooses and we rock out in the most ridiculous ways. It’s a funny and fun release.

2. Intentionally visit with nature. Nature – whether trees, plants, birds, grass, rocks, the ocean – it has a powerful way of grounding us and helping us appreciate our surroundings. I live in an apartment in Pacific Beach and don’t have a yard but I’m grateful to have a small deck. I’ve been working on my laptop next to my deck and have been watching the birds as they land on my plants. And when I walked out to get my mail yesterday, I saw a hummingbird flitting about. Then I paused and smelled one of the flowers blooming. And I took a few deep breaths. This is about appreciating moments like this through intentional mindfulness and not taking them for granted, and I recommend that you try it as well.

3. Fill each other love tanks. I mention the 5 Love Languages a lot because I think knowing about them is a powerful tool to better express love to your partner. Discover their top love languages and yours as well by taking the free 30-question online quiz at 5LoveLanguages.com. Then sit down with your partner and discuss whether your primary ways of receiving love are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. If you have kids at home, you can take the quiz for them as well, and make sure they are feeling loved and nurtured in the ways that are most meaningful to them. Once you have this info, every day each of you can switch into a “love language” mindset and think of one small thing you can do to make your partner feel loved.

4. Feel all the crappy emotions. Create some space and time for feeling all the feels right now – stress, fear, anxiety, confusion, angst, uncertainty, disappointment, sadness. All of that is totally normal to feel as we’re grieving the current loss of so much that matters to us. To be able to cope, you might be pushing it all down or pretending it’s not there, but frankly, that’s not healthy for you in the long run, or healthy for your relationships. Men in a particular have been trained to handle adversity this way, so give yourself permission to get it out and let the natural human emotions flow through you. If you have a partner and you can both spend 30 minutes just worrying and crying to getting it all out, do so. Let it move through you and then get back to your tasks and priorities at hand. Writing it all down on a piece of paper for 20 minutes or so is also a valuable way to let the emotions move through you and stay more emotionally healthy.

5. Give yourself a break. This is for all the parents out there who have their kids at home during the day and have to be homeschooling them, guiding them, or entertaining them. And particularly to the mom’s out there, because they still tend to do more of the household chores and childcare, so I know this is falling more on women’s shoulders. Don’t try to be perfect right now. Just do the best you can and give yourself a break. Perfection doesn’t exist anyway so be kind to yourself.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Keynote Speaker, Sexologist, & Intimacy Coach