Stop Being Boring! Ideas to Romance Your Partner

It can be easy to get in a rut when showing your love and affection to your partner. I offer suggestions around building sensuality, expressing appreciation, creating sexy time, and filling your partner's love bucket. Softcup Menstrual Cup company brought me in to be their expert for their February Month of Love - fun folks there, doing good work!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker

Top 5 Questions Women Ask a Sex Counselor

Sex is fun…and complicated! While there are a lot of biological components of sexuality, there are also a lot of social, mental and emotional aspects. These often get in the way of enjoying the pleasures of our bodies and the potential for deep connections with others. As a Relationship and Intimacy Counselor, I receive many questions from women about their sex lives; below are five of the most common questions I receive.

1. Am I normal? Is what we’re doing normal?

These questions come from a fear of being judged or not feeling good enough. There may be sexual statistical averages around activities and frequency and tastes, but what really matters is what you like and don’t like, and the same for your partner. You could be perfectly “average” and “normal,” but still have a miserable sex life! Each individual and couple needs to create their own “normal” based on their preferences, needs and desires.

2. Why don’t I feel desire any more? How can I feel passion again?

It is really common for women in long-term relationships to lose their desire. Desire is a tricky thing that we tend to take for granted in the early stages of a relationship. But once those neurochemicals wear off, most women and couples don’t know what to do. The first step is to redefine desire from something that happens to you, to something that you can cultivate. What primes your pump? By this I mean, what can your partner do that helps you feel open to being sexual? Is it doing the dishes for you, massaging your shoulders, or having an eye-to-eye conversation? Focus on what makes you feel loved and nurtured and also makes your partner seem appealing. The second thing you can do is to take responsibility for your own desire. What puts you in the mood, such as reading erotica, fantasizing, or touching yourself? Do these things regularly to kick-start your libido.

3. How can I request my sexual needs without feeling embarrassed?

Read the rest of this blog that I wrote for the Softcup Blog HERE.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sex Speaker, Sociologist

For Women Only: 3 Tips to Take Care of YOU!

I don't think women take enough care of themselves. That's why, for this Valentine's season of sexy love, I'm encouraging women to prioritize themselves with three tips for nurturing. Thank you Softcup Menstrual Cup company for hosting my Valentine's videos this February!

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Sociologist, Sex Speaker