How can using a blindfold during sex — on you or on your partner — enhance sexual enjoyment?

Q: Why/how is her/him wearing a blindfold different from me wearing a blindfold?

A: For the person who is wearing a blindfold, they are surrendering some power and control to their partner. While this can feel scary, it can also feel very arousing because they can’t see what is happening or what is coming next.

The blindfolded partner can focus more acutely on their sensations and pleasure, and the act of receiving pleasure. The unpredictability increases their mindfulness in the moment and the awareness that this is a new experience (even if it’s with a partner they’ve been for a long time).

Plus, for someone who’s been struggling with low desire, this newness of the experience and their focus in the moment can help stimulate desire and arousal.

On the other hand, if you place the blindfold on your partner, you get to be in control. They can’t see what you’re doing. You’re in charge (obviously within the realm of two consenting partners).

If you’re afraid to try something new, try it when your partner is blindfolded so they can’t watch you as you do it. This can aid in confidence and creativity. Talk to and verbally tease your partner more, as well as physically teasing them. You get to be in charge of guiding their sensual and sexual experience…and your own.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, San Diego Sexologist, Intimacy Speaker, & Sociologist