May is National Masturbation Month!

However, back in March, I had the opportunity to deliver a talk on masturbation at San Diego State University. The event was organized by the Student for Public Health club and was open to any student interested, although we had to limit attendance to 100 students because we had 100 free vibrators to distribute to the attendees!

The talk was titled “Give Yourself a Hand,” and I offered the tagline: “Exploring Masturbation, Self-Pleasure, & Creativity.”

Typically, when I'm invited to speak to college students, they request heavier topics related to reducing sexual assault. Although I always appreciate those opportunities, I was thrilled to discuss a lighter, yet still important, subject.

Masturbation and sexual self-pleasure may be enjoyable topics, but they remain taboo in our society, often shrouded in shame, stigma, disconnection, and misinformation. Discussing masturbation openly with friends, partners, or in a group setting can feel particularly vulnerable.

To help the students not only gain knowledge but also develop skills in vulnerability and overcoming shame, I incorporated numerous conversation prompts for them to discuss in small groups. As a token of appreciation, I tossed small bags of "Super Fun Penis Candy" when individuals volunteered to chant "Masturbation" or shared personal topics from their group discussions.

Toward the end of my talk, in an effort to demonstrate vulnerability and make the message more memorable, I did something that truly pushed me out of my comfort zone. I put on my vulva costume, strapped on my ukulele, and asked the audience to sing along with me to my "Diddle Diddle Little Clit" lyrics, based on the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (see video below!).

I’ve done a lot of tough things in the name of education and fun, but this ranked pretty damn high, even for me. It was awkward all around! And, I was thrilled almost the whole audience stepped out of their comfort zones to join me in singing.

And that was my message overall – the value of developing the skills and courage to step outside of our comfort zones, so we can better explore, and enjoy, our sexual expression and sexual bodies.

~Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — San Diego Sex Speaker, Sociologist, Intimacy Coach